5 Things NICU Nurses Want Parents to Know

It's a terrifying moment when your baby needs to be in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). It's overwhelming and can be downright devastating. Admission to the NICU may be completely unexpected, or you are already aware that your baby will require intensive care after birth. Either way, it is a scary and stressful situation.
There is so much fear of the unknown. What will happen to your baby? Who will be caring for them? When can you see your baby? The questions and concerns are endless. Your NICU team is your ally, and they are that guiding hand of support you will reach out to for the following days, weeks, or even months. 
The neonatologists, respiratory therapists, dieticians, social workers, and nurses are the experts who will help you through this difficult time. Your NICU nurses are with your baby all day and all night. They are like guardian angels and are the advocates you will be closely working with during your time in the NICU.

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​Here are 5 things that your NICU nurses want you to know:
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1. Self-care is extremely important. 
You can't take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself. Following the birth of a baby, mothers need rest, sleep, nutrition, and a lot of support. Hormones are raging, your body is healing, and you are likely dealing with pumping every couple of hours. It is exhausting. Fathers/partners often feel helpless because they do not know what to do or how to help. 
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Tensions are high, sleep is deprived, and emotional breakdowns are common. Ask family and friends for support like helping with meals, laundry, chores, and transportation. Don't be afraid to ask; be sure to talk to your nurse too! They aren't just there for the babies but for parents too.

2. Patience is a virtue. 
There are moments in life when being patient is crucial, and your time in the NICU is one of them. You will feel like you have lost all control, which will be frustrating. You cannot control many things while your baby is in the NICU, so don't dwell on them. Take a deep breath and know that this too shall pass. Be patient with yourself, with your partner, and also your baby. 
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NICU babies work very hard every day, especially when they are learning to eat. It takes an immense amount of energy for them to breastfeed/bottle feed. Getting all the nutrients they need without requiring an IV or gavage feedings will be their most complex challenge yet. Take each day at a time.

3. Sleep is essential for babies to grow. 
Sleep and minimal stimulation are why the NICU almost always has a schedule for your baby. By allowing babies uninterrupted sleep, they will grow and thrive. Try to arrive before your baby's scheduled feeding time. Participate in their diaper changes and temperature checks, help feed your baby, and place them back in their crib or hold/kangaroo them for as long as possible. This will allow for uninterrupted sleep. The longer they are permitted REM cycle sleep, the better their health and growth will be. 

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4. Don't stare at the monitor. 
All babies will have wires placed on their body that attaches to a monitor which displays their heart rate, oxygen saturation, breathing pattern, and blood pressure. It is a helpful tool, but don't obsess over it. Not only will this cause you undue anxiety, but you will also start to depend on that monitor to tell you if something is wrong. When your baby is discharged home, you no longer have a monitor to stare at; you only have your baby's cues and appearance to let you know if something is wrong.
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Make it a habit to watch your baby closely, especially while they are feeding. Pay attention to their breathing patterns. If you notice they stop breathing during feedings, you can gently rub their back as a reminder for them to take a breath. This will prevent them from turning dusky (the bluish/dark color that appears around the eyes and mouth due to low oxygen levels). 

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5. Your involvement is vital
It may seem like you are getting in the way sometimes, but know that your involvement is important in your baby's care.  This is especially true when your baby is in the grower-feeder stage of the NICU – when they are in an open crib and are learning to breastfeed/bottle feed. However, if you do have to be away from the NICU to take care of yourself and family, know your baby is in the best hands and the NICU team will be your partner in caring for your baby.

Always remember that your NICU team is there to help. They understand the emotional rollercoaster of the NICU. They have witnessed the trials and tribulations of NICU parents time and time again. Talk to the nurses. Listen to them. You are an essential member of the team, and everyone has the same end goal of getting your baby home as soon as possible. 

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References
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6992410/ 
https://www.nicuawareness.org/blog/feeding-in-the-nicu#:~:text=Gavage%20Feeding,be%20trickled%20into%20baby%27s%20stomach. 
https://www.marchofdimes.org/baby/kangaroo-care.aspx 
https://www.saintlukeskc.org/health-library/skin-color-changes-newborn

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The views and opinions expressed in the NICU Awareness blog are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Project Sweet Peas. 

About the Author
April Rowe, RN, is a freelance health writer at RNtoPen.com. She has over fifteen years of experience as a Registered Nurse in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), Pediatrics, Home Health/Hospice/Palliative Care. She lives in South Carolina with her husband, children, and three dogs.